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(Sobre o cargo e a vida profissional de Jeanie)
Kerry: That doesn't mean the hospital can keep you shuffling papers for the rest of your career.
Jeanie: If I still have a career.

(Após ver o presente de Mark para Rachel)
Gant: Sled to work, Dr. Greene?

(Memórias de infancia)
Gant: We didn't have too many snow-covered bluffs in Atlanta.
Randi: Oh we did in Grand Rapids, coasted right through rush hour traffic, got hit by a car...didn't they have one of those dollies that wet itself or something?

(Comentário sobre os brinquedos das crianças de hoje)
Mark: I mean, I don't know what Duke Nukem was, but he looked pretty nasty.

Randi: (passando o telefone) For you, Dennis.
Gant: Benton trying to reach out and touch me?

Mark: (para Anspaugh) But if we get sued, it's the individual attending's butt that's on the line?

Carter: Dennis, Dennis, Dennis, what was up with the shower? I nearly froze my butt off this morning!

Doug: I'm on hold with the florist.
Carol: Not anymore you're not.
Doug: And a merry Christmas eve to you.

(Sobre a tradição natalina da família de Carol)
Doug: So you're gonna wear that sexy Ukranian shepherdess outfit?

Doug: Watch out for Carol, it's Christmas in the Ukraine!
Mark: Is her mom making those little dumplings?
Doug: Don't ask!

(Termo politicamente correto para drag queen)
EMT: This gentleman
Travesti: Female illusionist.

(Doyle cuida de uma mulher que foi espancada)
Doyle: I guess hubby thought he'd go out with a bang this year, too, huh?
Paciente: It was an accident.
Doyle: Yeah. Your face got in the way of his fist.

Mark: Who's next?
Chuny: Ho, ho, ho.
Mark: Santa Claus?
Chuny: No, that's who's next - three hookers!

Paciente: Oh, the pretty twinkling lights!
Carol: And that's why you were dancing with the elves in Marshall Fields.

(Mark tenta fazer com que o cachorro coma um donut)
Haleh: No good?
Mark: No, and I've tried PB&J, cookies, fruitcake.
Randi: Nobody likes fruitcake!
Mark: I thought dogs ate everything.
Randi: Why don't you take him down to the morgue and have him beg for some table scraps?
Mark: (beep toca) That's Mr. Collins. (para o cachorro) Maybe he knows what you like to eat? (o cachorro rosna)
Haleh: I think he likes you.

Carol: (no telefone) I don't care if Psych is backed up, she thinks she's a reindeer!...Dangerous? Well, she bruised an elf...

Mark: Hey, he found something to munch on!
Malik: He found it himself. Are dogs supposed to eat chicken bones?
Mark: Is that a chicken?

Doug: (para Charlie) You're eating hospital food? You're that desperate - c'mon, let's get some lunch!

Doug: You know, in a civilized society people acknowledge each other when they speak, Charlie.

Gant: (para Carter) I have now officially changed every drain and lanced every boil in this hospital!

Carter: Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about.
Gant: Say no more. I have an aunt who makes chitlins. You don't even want to know what that's all about!

Gant: Who wants to hang with his homey when he could be with a honey?

Jeanie: Excuse me. I just want everyone to stop calling me Employee X. I am HIV Positive.

( sobre um procedimento que Jeanie não poderia fazer)
Jeanie: I wouldn't feel comfortable doing that anyway.
Mark: Okay. See, progress?

Carol: Hey, Jeanie?
Jeanie: Hey.
Carol: I wish I had known.
Jeanie: Why, would it have made the two of us friends?
Carol: Now that's not fair.
Jeanie: Nothing is.

Doyle: (empurrando uma maca para fora do saguão) Hey buddy! This patient's going to a bus station.
Cabbie: A stiff?
Doyle: (descobrindo o paciente) Mircaculous recovery! Okay here's your bus ticket and some burgers.
Beth: I can't take this from you.
Doyle: Oh come on, you have a 3:15 to Abeline to catch.
Beth: I don't even know where Abeline is.
Doyle: Hopefully neither does he. (para Malik) Oh, you won the pool. Congratulations.
Malik: That was the pooled football money?
Doyle: Yeah. Thought she was a better bet.

Mark: (folheando o catálogo telefonico)
Alternators...amusement...ammunition...there's no animal shelters?
E. Ray: Sometimes they list them under 'humane societies'.
Chuny: Oh come on, Mark, you can't give him a way, you promised Mr. Collins!
Mark: Yeah, that was before I shelled out fifty bucks to a drag queen for free-range goose.

Mark: His name's Nick.
Doug: Well given the season maybe you should call him 'St. Nick'

(Mark e Doug discutem o presente de Natal para Rachel)
Mark: I thought I'd give her a puppy for Christmas.
Doug: Mark, in case you haven't noticed, that dog's like eight years old. It's ready for a mid-life crisis. It's ready a fur-replacement.
Mark: Maybe with a little wash, a little bow around his neck, he's not going to look a day over...five.
Doug: What do you know about giving dogs a bath?
Mark: What's to know? Could you hold him?
Doug: Yeah, for twenty bucks I could do it.
Mark: Twenty bucks is a little steep.
Doug: I lost my wallet, I need a...loan.
Mark: Deal.
Doug: Okay.

(sobre o ferimento na testa de Mark)
Jeanie: That looks pretty deep.
Mark: Dog trauma.
Jeanie: Yeah, he went that a-way, giving Doug a run for his money.

Abby: (para Benton) I was just...um...reviewing some anatomy.

(A causa das velhas cicatrizes)
Mark: I played rugby in high school for a few weeks to impress a girl. And after ending up on the bottom of a few scrims, I decided to rethink the relationship.

(sobre Nick)
Doug: When I finally caught up with him, he had already been made mascot of the children's ward.

(Sobre a tradição natalina de Doug)
Doug: All right, I am on my way home for a beautiful holiday with mu shu pork, channel 11, a yule log, and my easy chair.

Carol: (para Jeanie) I swallowed a bunch of pills a few years ago. When I got back to work, people either smothered me with kindness or treated me like I was invisible. If we aren't friends, maybe we should be. Well, I have a house full of crazy relatives waiting for me.
Jeanie: Merry Christmas, Carol.
Carol: Merry Christmas.

(Charlie quer ficar na casa de Doug na vespera de Natal)
Doug: You're fourteen years old, you stole my wallet, you've been nothing but a pain in the ass!
Charlie: Are you going to send me to streets?
Doug:  How about a shelter?
Charlie: A shelter on Christmas Eve? Sounds like funny.

Jeanie: Aunt Nonnie. I wonder what get-rich-quick scheme she's hooking her partners in this year?
Al: Southwestern land development.
Jeanie: The envelope stuffing scheme.
Al: And the roller disco.

Jeanie: Remember that ridiculous tree in the old apartment?
Al: There was nothing ridiculous about that baby, that was a prime piece of pine!
Jeanie: Except that it was six feet too tall for a studio apartment, and you refused to cut the top off.
Al: Well that would've been sacrilegious.
Jeanie: But you could still see the stucco scratches.
Al: Well like you didn't eat all the popcorn before I could string it with the cranberries.
Jeanie: That's different.
Al: How?
Jeanie: 'Cause you know how I feel about popcorn!

(Até mesmo Benton tem alguém no Natal)
Benton: Hey. I hope I'm not interrupting anything.
Carla: Well, actually I was just seducing this fat man in this fly red suit who came down the chimney...but other than that...

Mãe de Carol: The extra chair is for the unexpected guest - a tradition much older than you or me or the guy next door.
Carol: Okay, but there isn't enough room, and as much as I'd like to sit on Uncle Miko's lap...

(Um convidado inesperado)
Doug: Hey.
Carol: Don't say a word. I thought you were planning a quiet evening with the channel 9 yule log...
Doug: Yeah, well, plans changed.
Carol: (vê Charlie) You're kidding me?
Doug: She just showed up on my doorstep, I can't have her sleeping there, you know it wouldn't look good, so...
Carol: Oh. Oh no. No way, Doug. No, it's bad enough I have eight drunken sword dancers reenacting the purge in my dining room!
Doug: It's Christmas, Carol.
Carol: I am painfully aware of that.

(Após o cachorro ter mordido Craig)
Mark: Oh, I'm sorry, are you okay? Bad dog!
(depois)
Mark: Good doggie.

Carol: If I'd known it was this easy to get my mother off my back, I would've had you bring her by a long time ago.
Doug: So she can stay tonight?
Carol: No, I do not think that is a good idea -
Charlie: Check it out.
Doug: Yeah?
Charlie: A Christmas egg.
Doug: Oh that's nice, there Charlie.
Charlie: You should make one. It's pretty cool.
Doug: Oh, I don't know, Charlie - I'm no Picasso.
Charlie: You chicken?
Carol: Yeah, you're a chicken?
Doug: Yeah, I'm a chicken. Get over there, I'll paint it.
Carol: Okay. One night. Just one, one night.

(Sobre as prioridades paquistanesas)
Carter: Think they have Dr. Seuss in Pakistan?
Abby: I don't think it's a priority.

Carter: 'Twas the night before Christmas.
Abby: And all through the house.
Carter: Not a creature was stirring.
Abby: Not even a mouse.
Carter: I'm going to miss you.
Abby: That's not the next line.
Carter: No, I'm really going to miss you.

Jeanie: What are you looking at?
Doyle: This tree. It's missing something, you know.
Jeanie: Yeah. Well, peds did a good job with this construction paper chain, huh?
Doyle: That was a real gutsy thing you did today.
Jeanie: Thanks. You know, I have just the thing.
Doyle: That looks good. Where'd you get it?
Jeanie: My husband brought it by. Came off our first Christmas tree.
Doyle: Well it's an heirloom then. You should put it on your family tree.
Jeanie: I just did.