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Carnal Knowledge
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Joey: A face like that leaves nothing to the imagination. The well-maintained
good looks of an upper middle class New Yorker. I mean, there's no mystery there. I can
see her entire future in that face.
Dawson: Really?
Joey: Yeah. In three years her above average SAT scores will grant her admission
into a small liberal arts college, somewhere in New England, where she'll major in Art
History, before returning to Manhattan to marry a bond trader she meets some Saturday
afternoon at America's cup-watching party. Within a year they move to suburban
Connecticut, refurbish an old farmhouse and raise three neurotically perfect children.
Dawson: You've put quite a bit of thought into this.
Dawson: It's funny. That woman looks familiar.
Joey: I know what you mean. If you brushed her hair out of her eyes a little
Dawson: And maybe sat her behind a big school desk
Joey: It could almost be
Both: Miss Jacobs!
Dawson: I was shooting some pickups at the ruins with Jen and we accidentally left the camera running when we ran out. And the rest is pornographic history.
Joey: So if you're thinking of tracking him down, just look for the guy with the brown hair and throbbing neck muscles.
Pacey: Uh, hey Dawson, I think, ah, I think I should get to take a look at that
tape.
Dawson: Sure, we'll arrange a private screening for you.
Joey: Yeah, so you can pull out the bishop in privacy.
Pacey: You know that's really clever how you turn all that sexual repression into
humor.
Pacey: Hey Dawson, don't forget man, I wanna see that tape!
Joey: Pervert.
Pacey: Prude.
Joey: Phasers on stun. I come in peace.
Pacey: I got the girl this time, Dawson.
Dawson: What?
Pacey: Yeah. Call it the Law of Averages, call it an act of God, call it whatever
you want, but I got her.
Dawson: Who?! Who?! Who'd you get Pacey?
Pacey: Oh man, uh, you know what Dawson, I don't know how to tell you this. But uh,
the guy with the brown hair and the throbbing neck muscles? The guy with Tamara Jacobs?
Uh, that's
that's me.
Dawson: I don't think there currently exists a word to describe my reaction.
Dawson: You know it's funny. When I first saw Bob on television I thought he was
a real tool. But, I don't know, now that I've met him in person he doesn't seem so bad.
What do you think?
Joey: I think you had it right the first time.
Pacey: Yeah, but it's not real sex. I mean it's sex as cautionary tale, sex as a
warning. I'm not kidding about this, every time somebody in one of those books has sex,
something bad has to happen to them. Romeo and Juliet, they have sex, next thing you know
they're killing themselves. The Scarlet Letter. Hester Prynne has sex,
next thing you know she's an outcast for life. The uh, Greek one, the...
Tamara: Oedipus?
Pacey: Yes, that one. That guy sleeps with some chick, who granted is his mother.
He's so freaked out by it, he pokes out his own eyes. Okay? That's not real life.
Dawson: What I should really do is tell my dad. Dad, the woman you're about to celebrate 20 blissful years of marriage with, well she's sleeping with Bob now. Apparently the scent of his ice blue Aqua Velvet was too much to resist.
Dawson: Do you think people know?
Joey: People always know.
Dawson: Well we didn't. Right? Joey? Joey, I didn't know. Did you?
Jen: Okay. Honesty right? Look, my parents didn't exactly send me up here to
help Grams. They sent me up here because the clichés about teenagers in the big city are
true.
Dawson: What clichés?
Jen: Oh c'mon, you've heard them. Uh, they grow up too fast, stay out too late,
hang out with the wrong kind of people, have sex too young.
Dawson: And your parents wanted to get you away from kids like that?
Jen: No Dawson, I was kids like that.
Dawson: The sex part?
Jen: Yeah.
Dawson: Boyfriend right?
Jen: Yeah, but not just to him.
Dawson: Okay, so all that stuff you said about being a virgin before, I should
probably disregard that.
Pacey: Well do you like him, or do you like me?
Tamara: You know you're very disarming when you start sounding your age.
Dawson: I'm mad at the world Joey. I'm a teenager.
Pacey: Who's it gonna be Tamara, me or Mr. Gold?
Tamara: You know, I never knew you were so bothered by this Pacey, because I'd hate
to think I have to choose. I mean, Benji and I have so much in common. We love to talk
about books and authors and we're both big opera fans. Not to mention our legendary man
troubles.
Pacey: Man troubles?
Tamara: Yes, apparently in your extensive research, you failed to detect that I'm
not exactly Benji's type.
Pacey: No?
Tamara: Not unless you think I bear some resemblance to Mel Gibson.
Pacey: Mr. Gold is gay?!
Dawson: I think you want me to say something but I don't know what it is.
Jen: Well then let me help you out, you could tell me why you've been avoiding me
all day, or what's behind that look in your eyes, whether it's repulsion or jealousy or
complete disapproval 'cause I know I've never seen it from you before. You could tell me
that you suddenly feel strange about us, that maybe we need a little break 'cause you
don't seem to know me, and maybe you never really did. Or, and now I'll make it really
easy for you Dawson. You could just tell me if I've left anything out. I didn't think so.
Pacey: She's giving you an in Dawson. She's sayin', "Look, I understand
you're a little nervous about making the first move on me because you're some romantic who
puts women like me up on a pedestal. So here, I'm gonna give you the greatest gift any
desirable woman can give to a sexually inexperienced guy."
Dawson: An in?
Dawson: What I was going to say before this whole, "world according to
Pacey" speech is that this has nothing to do with some stupid "in" or even
getting Jen in the sack. It has to do with one thing.
Pacey: Right, the fact that you are scared.
Pacey: All I can say is enjoy it man. Life has some pretty unexpected benefits.
Dawson: Yeah, I could do without all the unexpected plot twists though. The
virginal girlfriend
Pacey: Who's not exactly a virgin.
Dawson: And the high school strike out artist
Pacey: Now having an affair with his English teacher!
Dawson: Then there's also the happily married couple who's celebrating their 20th
wedding anniversary tonight who's not really as happy as we thought.
Jen: I need some advice.
Joey: And what field do you consider me an expert in?
Jen: Dawson Leery.
Joey: You know, I'm sorta busy here, these receipts and locking up. Maybe we could,
uh, do this another time?
Jen: I told him I wasn't a virgin.
Joey: I think I have a minute.
Joey: When it comes to women, there are popes who have had more experience. I
mean the guy was a shrimp until last summer. To say his sex life is limited is the
understatement of the decade. It's barren. A desert. I don't envy what you have to deal
with, believe me.
Jen: You're not trying to scare me off are you?
Joey: No. I'm just trying to tell you that every guy who grows up to be one of the
good ones? He was probably a Dewey with girls when he was fifteen too.
Pacey: You've been with other guys right?
Tamara: Some, yes.
Pacey: A lot?
Tamara: Well not a lot that mattered.
Pacey: And how many was that?
Tamara: That mattered? You want numbers? Well, let's see there was one in high
school, and one in college, and since then I'd say, um, there have been three. But no one
for a few years.
Pacey: Oh. Great. Um, thanks.
Tamara: Pacey?
Pacey: Yeah?
Tamara: About the one in high school? I didn't mean my high school.
Joey: Hangin' out with all your friends?
Dawson: Yup. That's why you weren't invited.
Joey: It's called social evolution, Dawson. What's strong enough flourishes, and what doesn't, we look at behind glass cases in science museums.
Joey: No doubt about it. Straight to the Smithsonian.
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